


All Through the Night

by AppalachianApologies



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Gen, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, It's the anniversary of Jack's death don't @ me, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Overwhelmed, Overwhelmed Matt Murdock, Pre-Series, Sensory Overload, but at the same time not enough, overload, that's not a tag yet?, too many emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppalachianApologies/pseuds/AppalachianApologies
Summary: It's Battlin' Jack's murder anniversary and sixteen year old Matt is struggling.Luckily he has a certain nun worried about him.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	All Through the Night

**Author's Note:**

> So.
> 
> The world is fucking shit right now.
> 
> Please stay safe, and I hope this small fic can give you a break of the Hell that's in the world right now.

Walk.

_ “You’re home late,” _

_ “Yeah, I’ll have the baked salmon, easy on the ginger.” _

He walks with his cane tapping in front of his legs, as if it makes any difference.

_ “I finished all my homework, mom.” _

Fabric against fabric, shoulders bumping.

_ “I told you last week, I got new hours as a consultant.” _

_ “Hun, can you pick up tomatoes after work?” _

That’s his shoulder.

_ “And I’ll have the ravioli,” _

_ “Even your math homework?” _

A young woman opens her mouth to chastise him, but stops when she inevitably sees the cane.

_ “Yeah I did it during third hour,” _

_ “You never listen to me, I told you last week!” _

White lined with black and red covers his excuse.

_ “Maybe lettuce? Depends if the inlaws want lettuce.” _

Walk faster.

_ “Can I please go to Katie’s now?” _

_ “All I do is listen to you, Jesus!” _

Another shoulder is bumped into.

_ “Mmhm, the grill is already hot.” _

Red rectangular glasses receive the pity instead of him.

_ “Yeah? Then you would’ve remembered that my hours had changed!” _

_ “I don’t know sweetheart, it’s already pretty late,” _

_ “I’m so glad we managed to have another date night, it’s been so long.” _

Cheap sneakers stumble across a crack in the sidewalk that his cane didn’t see. 

_ Stupid. _

_ “Fuck off, I know you’re seeing that chick from the bar.” _

_ “But mom! You said after I finished my work!” _

Stick could’ve heard the concrete from a mile away. No wonder he left.

_ Why God, why did he leave? _

_ “Oh, you’re right. We already have hotdogs.” _

_ “The last time we had a night like this was grad school,” _

The general public part like the red sea, the poor blind boy walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk.

_ “I saw you eyeing her all night!” _

_ “I know sweetie, but it’s already nine o’clock.” _

Church bells ring miles away, forty five seconds before the bells from Clinton Church ring. 

_ “Oh wait, do we have enough ketchup?” _

Matt has forty four seconds left to get to the Church before curfew, and before bed checks. Picking up the pace at this point would be inevitable.

_ “That’s because we didn’t have two toddlers during grad school,” _

_ “Jesus Lila, I wouldn’t cheat on you!” _

So he drags his feet.

_ “Please mom? It’s not even a school night!” _

Old soles of older sneakers scratch against the grainy concrete.

_ “And mayo?” _

_ “Mmhm. Thank God for red wine.” _

Maybe it’s from his own shoes. 

_ “And mustard?” _

Matt doesn’t know.

_ “Don’t lie to me! You probably think she’s prettier than me.” _

_ “I guess as long as you have your chores done.” _

The buzz of fluorescent lights stab Matt’s brain.

_ “It’s nice having time away from the kids.” _

It hurts.

_ “I bought pickles last week, remember?” _

_ It hurts. _

_ “I told you, my hours got changed! That’s why I’m late!” _

_ Get the fuck up kid, it ain’t even broken. _

_ “Thank you, thank you! I love you!” _

Each street light burns his ear drums.

_ “Yeah. I love ‘em to death, but they’re sure good at throwing tantrums.” _

_ “Okay, I think that’s all. Thank you so much, honey.” _

Three blocks away someone is cooking barbecue for their family.

_ “Why are you still lying to me?!” _

The Clinton Church bells ring.

The familiar tune drowns out any other sounds for a split second.

Quiet.

Quiet.

Quiet.

_ “I’m not lying to you!” _

_ “Mmhm, love you, drive safe!” _

_ “Her mom can give me a ride,” _

_ “Mostly it’s just nice to have time alone with you again,” _

And then that second ends.

_ “Why do you always think I’m lying to you?” _

_ “Yeah they can feed me dinner,” _

_ “Oh, look! That salmon looks absolutely delicious!” _

Matt’s still five minutes away when he trips on an overgrown tree root.

_ Fucking useless, kid. _

_ “Definitely, but we won’t have enough money for another meal like this for a while,” _

_ “Maybe you should just go fucking marry her, since it’s obvious you’re sleeping with her!” _

A man beside him asks if he’s alright.

_ “She’ll be here in like five minutes.” _

His voice is through a speaker, right into Matt’s eardrum.

_ “I’m not fucking sleeping with another woman!” _

_ “The paycheck is worth this date,” _

Hands come up to his ear, cane forgotten.

_ “Oh, definitely,” _

_ “You are!” _

Walk faster.

Light jazz comes through the windows of a couple’s date night.

_ Clickity. _

_ Clackety. _

Someone has one of those new age laptops.

_ Clickity. _

_ Clackety. _

Hopefully Sister Bernadette is doing bed checks tonight. She’s always more kind than Sister Maggie, who always seems to have it out for Matt.

_ “Katie’s mom is here!” _

Even Sister Abigail would be better than Sister Maggie, and that’s counting her nicotine breath.

_ “I know I’ve already said it, but I really miss dinners like this,” _

_ “If anything,  _ you’re _ the fucking whore in this relationship!” _

Matt can almost hear Father Lantom from here.

_ “Oh wait, can you grab my toothbrush for me?” _

He’s talking to someone.

_ “Maybe when the kids get older we can have more date nights.” _

_ “Me? Me?! Fuck you, Brian,” _

Four more steps forward and Matt can hear the recipient.

_ You scared of a sickly woman now, Matty? Pussy. _

“...You know what day it is, Maggie.”

_ “It least we can afford nights like this each year,” _

“Matthew’s never out this late. Surely you understand my worry?”

_ “Thanks, mom!” _

Wait.

_ “Do you have your pillow?” _

Worry?

_ “I never should’ve trusted you!” _

He’s not close enough to hear her heartbeat to know if it’s true.

_ “I’d like to make a toast, to us,” _

_ “Yes mom, and my pajamas,” _

_ You don’t need family, kid. They’ll fuckin’ ruin you. _

_ “To our anniversary,” _

“Are we sure he isn’t just hiding in one of his places?”

_ “Well then maybe you should just leave!” _

Shit, the Sisters know about his hiding places?

_ “To our anniversary,” _

“I’ve checked all of them, Paul. He’s not on the grounds.”

_ “You know what! I fucking will!” _

One more half block, and Matt will be in the property, technically.

_ “Good! Cheating bastard!” _

“Check again.”

“Paul-”

_ “I’ll call tomorrow morning, but Katie’s mom can probably drop me back home.” _

“Just once more. I’ll help look too.”

_ “To our anniversary,” _

_ “Cheating whore!” _

Matt can hear the resigned sigh from outside.

_ “‘Love you, mom!” _

He climbs through the window to the boy’s restroom, broken lock swaying loosely to the side.

His ankle catches the side of the frame and he crashes to the ground.

_ I could hear you coming from a mile away. I woulda’ killed you without an extra breath. _

“Matthew?”

_ Fuckin’ pussy. _

Matt tries to flatten himself against the wall, but it’s no use. Maggie never misses anything.

“Matthew, why don’t you come on out?”

Her words are devoid of her usual calm malice. Maybe she really is worried?

He drags himself out of the shadows, and drops his head in shame when he stands in front of the Sister.

She lets out a soft sigh.

“Matthew, where is your cane?”

Matt winces at her words and grabs the hem of his shirt to stop himself from covering his ears.

He doesn’t know why he took his hands away in the first place.

“Matthew?”

“...Lost it.”

“Walk with me,” Maggie replies, bringing Matt’s hand to her elbow. “You’re already taller than me,” She muses to herself.

Matt knows that he’s hit a growth spurt.

The exhales from his nose hit different parts of his bunk when he stands next to it now.

It’s unsettling.

The Sister leads Matt through corridors of the orphanage, into the church, until Matt feels the open space.

They sit down on a pew.

Maggie sits in silence.

Matt does not.

_ You’re telling me you believe this God bullshit? More useless than I thought, Matty. _

Minutes pass, before Matt knows that Sister Maggie won’t start this conversation.

“I’m sorry, Sister.”

“For?” She encourages him.

Matt hangs his head. “For leaving the grounds without telling anyone.”

“And?”

“...Leaving the grounds without permission as well?”

“And?”

“And for staying out past curfew.”

Matt can feel her nod.

They sit for moments, and Matt’s thoughts drift to God.

“Do I even have to ask where you were?”

“I’m sorry, Sister.” Matt mumbles as a reply.

Maggie gently puts a hand on his knee. Matthew, we would be happy to accompany you if you would just ask.”

“‘Don’t want a chaperone.”

“Father Lantom and the rest of the Sisters worry about you going out on your own,”

“Because I’m blind?”

“Because you’re Matthew Murdock.” She replies without hesitation. 

Matt can hear a bit of humor behind the words.

Matt picks at the frayed hem of his shirt. “I wanted to visit him alone.”

“We can’t always get what we want, Matthew.”

“I know.”

The nave is quiet again, save for their heavy breaths. 

This time, Matt isn’t eager to be the one to break it.

“Good, Matthew. I’ll assume this will come up during confession?”

“Yes, Sister.” He mumbles, head still hung.

“You’ll have extra chores this week as well.”

Matt nods. “I’ll head to my bed now,” But when he stands Maggie keeps her hand firmly on his knee.

“You don’t have to deal with this alone, Matthew.”

“Yeah,”

_ You don’t need family, kid. _

_ They just. _

_ Hold. _

_ You. _

_ Down. _

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was going to be less structured (I know, I know, this barely has any structure in it, but I'm talking like minimal scaffolding), but I decided to have it go a certain "plotty" direction.
> 
> Bonus points if you made the connections between the four different outside conversations to Matt's life (I didn't exactly strive for subtlety)
> 
> Again, please please please please stay safe, donate if you can, sign petitions if you can't, and treat your black brothers, sisters, and non-binary siblings with love <3
> 
> I love you all and thank you for reading <3


End file.
